Griping in Limboland

My mother came home from the hospital yesterday.
The stint that was placed in her liver a few months back had become dislodged and she had developed an infection.
She came home with a drain tube for the remaining abscess on her liver.
A nurse will be visiting a few times a week until the tube is removed.
Mom is feeling a little better and happy to be home.

Hope that this will give us more time.
I want to be pregnant with a healthy baby while my mom can still enjoy it with me.

My husband may have broken his ankle while in Prague.
He did not see a doctor until he arrived in Poland and they couldn't confirm or deny a fracture.
He was given a blood thinner to inject everyday until he sees the doctor here on Monday.
He's not doing well and can't wait to be back home.
Just a few more days before the audit is done and he's back home!
Poor baby has gotten pretty good at giving injections thanks to all the cycles I have had.
I miss my poor misiu.

It's been 19 days since my FET cycle was cancelled.
I stopped the estrogen and lupron 19 days ago.
I'm usually a 28 day cycle girl but with this cancelled cycle I'm at cycle day 46.
As much as I hate to see Aunt Flo, I'm wondering where she went.
I tested bfn last Wednesday and today with a really horrible Accuclear.
Accuclear's or any +/- pregnancy test will almost always turn faint positive after 10 minutes.
Mine was blank after 7.
So where is AF so I can get started on another cycle!

Getting a little agitated here in limboland.

I have no symptoms of anything.
I don't feel like I'm going to ovulate.
I don't feel like AF is coming.
My temperature is below 98.6F despite it being 100F outside today.

Limboland!

I really need to get started on a new cycle.

Starting to get the Infertility Crazies!

Just when I was at peace for a short while, my infertility demon reared its head.

Jealously and anger cannot be avoided once you've been trying to conceive for over 2 years.
To restate, early on, I did feel it in small doses but I always reassured myself that my time would come.

Well today I am quite furious with my situation once again.
I'm furious with everything.
I'm furious at the hand that was dealt.

Two days ago, a large packaged arrived in my mailbox.
It was two samples of baby formula!
WTF!!!
I guess when I signed up for newsletters when I was pregnant my due date was recorded.
Well My Anya would have been born in August.
Despite cancelling and removing my self from the mailing lists, I must have not been removed from one of them

This morning I was checking my email and ran across the blog of one of my former cycle buddies.
Short version
She and I tended to cycle at the same time when we were ttc naturally.
Many times I would help her with her charts, temps , etc.
She's lives in the area and when she went through her IVF cycle, we were in constant contact.
She texted me constantly and I didn't have an unlimited text package at the time(that was an ugly bill)
I virtually held her hand throughout her cycle.
I was a few days ahead and got my positive first.
Then she got hers.
I had my first IVF bfp and chemical pregnancy .
She went went on to deliver a healthy baby earlier this year.
I last heard from her when I miscarried at 12 weeks this January.
She sent me a message.
"Maybe a doctor can figure out what's wrong with you"
I wish I could reach out through cyberspace and smack the crap out of her!

Well her baby is a few months old now and she complains about motherhood on her blog.
Again, I wish I could reach through cyberspace and smack the crap out of her.
I know adjusting to motherhood can be difficult but knowing her history and struggles, she just seems ungrateful as hell.

Maybe I'm just pissed at being left behind so many times.
I'm just tired of being left here in limboland.