Things I should have said

Years ago even before battling infertility, I always kept in mind how delicate the situation could be and never asked stupid question or personal questions I had no business asking. I always saw infertility as something private. It was up to that person to share if they wanted to.

Maybe I am repeating myself or other women who have battled infertility, but today, I guess being hormonal has me a bit fired up.

I think back at some of the stupid things people have said to me during this journey so far and what I should have said or might have said if I wasn't polite.

Ten years ago a friend of my brother brought his girlfriend over and her 2 small children, a 1 year old and a beautiful newborn infant. I swooned over that newborn and baby boy.
So she says to me ( first time I ever met this chick),
"you like babies don't you? People who like babies can't have them"
Just to remind you I wasn't married or ttc at that time.
What I should have said,
"btch, if you don't like babies you should have kept your damn legs closed and f-you !"

Someone once said to me,
"you don't need any children. you have tons of nieces and nephews to take care of and put through school"
I should have said,
" just because you and your offspring are f-ing without protection for sport, why the hell should I pay for your vertical joyrides!"
( that was sister, lol!)

Someone said,
"oh you had a miscarriage. Well you tried, it didn't work, now leave it alone."
I should have said,
" jeez, you are so smart and know everything. i guess I should stop thinking for myself and let you do all the work!"

Someone once said,
"babies are such hard work and cost a lot of money,you don't want a baby"
I should have said,
"Wow I didn't know that, I though maybe we should both quit our jobs,  have a ton of kids and get the government to pay for everything. It seemed to work out fine for you!'

" Oh you are seeing a doctor, you are going to end up with a bunch of babies like octomom"
"Thank you for the vote of confidence! IVF is surely going to work now that you have preordained it!"

"Maybe God doesn't want you to have children"
"Maybe you should shut the F- up!"

"Maybe God doesn't approve of you getting treatment and wants to to try naturally"
" Why Don't you go tell a diabetic that God doesn't want them to take insulin and we all die sooner or later so come on home!"

"just stop trying and it will happen"
"Did I ask you for advice? Oh I must've because you know everything! you should have a column in the newspaper!"

Then this one, especially when the person has no idea what  you are going through.
" I get pregnant so easily, I would have one and give it to you"
"No thanks, I've seen your kids, and sweetie you have to tie bones around their necks just to get the dog to play with them.!'

"Have you see a doctor?"
" yes, I've seen doctors, I've seen nurses they aren't that uncommon these days. Sometimes you can even spot them at the 7-eleven when they are on break."

"maybe you are too old."
"maybe you should shut the f-up!"

"Is something wrong with you?"
"Why? Do I look sick or something? Tell the truth I can handle it!"

"if it were me, I would not have had children, you should count your blessings"
"I bet  your children are so happy to hear you say that! Do you write that in their birthday cards each year?"

" Babies are expensive!"
"No shit!!!! Truly, I did not know that! you just told me something new!!"

"Babies are a lot of work!"
" No way, I was planning on doing what you did. Bring them to visit mom and sneak away leaving them there when she's distracted. She loves surprises!"" Oh , you are having twins, that's going to be a lot of work!"
"My God! Are you a psychic or something! Quick give me the the winning Power Ball numbers for friday's Drawing!"

"Oh, you are having twins, Do twins run in your family?"
"Only when they are in trouble for doing something."

"oh, you are having twins, Do they run in your family?'
"now...what are you really asking here? Think hard about it and ask me the question you really want to ask, if you've got the balls!"

"are they test-tube babies?"
"Dunno! I guess I will find out once they are born! I'll be sure to ask the doctor."

" you are having twins, whew! better you than me!"
"yes, better me than you! they wouldn't have a chance in with someone like you!"

"you are having twins, are they natural?"
"Well, the are carbon based lifeforms for sure, but there's still a chance they might be Cylon hybrid, but that would be cool ! Do you watch Battlestar Galactica too!! We should get together and have a watching party!"

"you are having twins, how did that happen?"
"well Husband is so greedy, ya know? and He's always coming back for second helpings. We did the deed and I was satisfied for the day but he had to have seconds!!! damn that man!"

" Did a doctor help with it?"
"Are you asking if I'm into threesomes, Shame on you!!! Only on my anniversary."

Better stop for now
feel free to add more if you like!