An "A.R.T.ful " Routine?

I awoke to the sound of my blaring alarm this morning.
It's another A.R.T. day!
WhoopteeDOO!
Off to see Mr. "DildoCam" and "Needlelady"!
The words "blood work" and "ultrasounds" occur too often in my day to day vocabulary!
I roll out of bed nursing another one of my weather induced migraines from hell!
Today I had to make an exception and have that cup of coffee with my Excedrine.
That's the only way to get the throbbing in my left temple to ease a bit.
I lay out my one of my "IVF" uniforms; loose sleeves, "easyoff" jeans, black "granny" panties, and my colorful socks.
I shower with my favorite Victoria's Secret shower gel and follow that with that expensive body cream that I set aside for my fertility appointments.
Honestly, I have no idea why I do that.
It's just a crazy routine that has developed with all the A.R.T. cycles I've had.
It's almost sad!

As I was driving to the doctor's office, I became aware of how some things have almost become routine in my life.

I always set all my RE appointments for 9am.  Even when I was at my old RE's office.

At the beginning of each A.R.T. cycle, go to "Trader Joe's " right after my appointment to stock up on protein power, stinky soft cheese (to satisfy my cheese fetish one last time before and if I get pregnant), and chai latte mix.

The only difference today was the addition of a bottle of "twobuckchuck" the delightfully cheap wine "Trader Joe's" carries.
One last toast to a hopefully successful cycle!

It's all becoming too routine for me.
I have other crazy habits also.
I try to avoid having to buy feminine napkins or tampons during the Aunt Flo before my IVF cycles.
I use whatever is left and luckily this AF I had 2 sample boxes to get me through.
Each time I swear it's going to be my last Aunt Flo for the next nine months.

I try not to purchase any clothing before a cycle.
If I do buy anything, I get clothing with a little extra room in the waist, just in case.
Pure lunacy!
You'd think I would learn.

I never read or look at any "baby" or "pregnancy" gear, ads, or mags when I'm not cycling.
I feel like an impostor.
Only during the A.R.T.ful times to I allow myself to indulge in such dreams and fantasies.

Maybe I have been doing this for too long and too many times.
This shouldn't be routine in ones life.