Sorry I haven't posted in quite some time. Having difficulties with my blogger account. I wasn't even able to post comments on other blogs. It was a bit discouraging.
Life has been very busy over the past week and I was a bit overwhelmed.
My older brother's wedding is tomorrow.
As of yesterday, there still wasn't any info on the reception.
My older sister scrambled to produce a cake.
Started my Lupron for my FET cycle on Wednesday.
Husband and I will be doing a 5K walk for Hope Children's Hospital and the Ronald McDonald House on Sunday. Should be fun, it actually goes past our house.
Today is our Boston Terrier's first birthday!
I made her a cake . My first doggie cake! Kinda came up with the recipe myself!
Used natural peanut butter and bacon!
Hope that no one else tries to eat it.
Bought her a kiddie pool.
Hope to train her to swim so she can eventually graduate to our pool.
Well to the subject of "sexiness".
Despite all the charting, temping, and timed intercourse of the past, my husband and I still had a rather healthy love life. In fact my gynocologist thought we "babydanced" too often.
We still managed to keep the fire burning and had tons of fun.
We were averaging 12-15 times a cycle! And that's with my husband's travel schedule! I still have no idea how the hell we did that. I pull up old charts and I'm actually shocked.
Well, since the missed miscarriage in January, I have found that my enthusiasm is waning.
Don't like this one bit!
I rummage through my head looking for the reason.
I found a few, but no real "eureka!" reason.
One my body has changed so much due to all the A.R.T. cycles.
I can barely squeeze into my sexy lingerie or costumes.
yes costumes
My flat stomach has been replaced with a pooch. No matter how hard I work out, once I start getting results, another fertility cycle starts and the bloaty pooch is back!
My husband says he loves it but I feel like a bowl of jello.
I used to love to shop for lingerie with my husband but now I steer clear of it.
Maybe I need to accept my new body.
I could easily accept it if I were pregnant.
I felt so so sexy when I was pregnant!
Secondly, I think all the hormones and injections have thrown me out of balance.
My drive returns at odd times.
Really odd times, like when I'm doing laundry, when my husband is out of town, or when he's playing Xbox.
And I only desire "quickies", not the long drawn out "production" lovemaking my husband is accustomed to.
It seems that my husband is adverse to quickies no matter how turned on he is.
And he's usually always turned on and willing.
I don't mean to sound ungrateful but, I just want a quick raw burst of passion not the romance book production.
Lately "Production" lovemaking is drains the passion out of the equation.
"Production" sex equals, taking a shower right before, dressing up, dimming the lights, prepping any adult toys that are to be used, putting on some music, etc, etc.
I just want it, when I want it!
My husband said something to me the other night.
He said, "we've got to get you back to the 'sex goddess' you used to be"
Kinda made me feel bad. Am I not living up to my former self?
I've lost my sexiness and I do what it back.
It seems so simple, and yet I can't seem to evoke the spirit of my inner "sex goddess".
Has infertility killed my sex life?!
Promised myself that I would never let this happen.
What can I do to get my sexy back?
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