New Cycle Started and Little Bit of Brain Garbage

Let me warn you. This post contains a lot of ramblings on. Had a lot on my mind.

 

Well, it seems that I have started a new IVF cycle. Took my first birth-control pill yesterday to begin my "down regulation". I will be doing an "estrogen priming" protocol with the hopes of getting a nice crop of mature eggs.

With my prior cycles,  the lowest retrieved was 8 and the highest being 14. Out of those cycles, 9 was the highest amount of "mature eggs" retrieved. We are hoping this new protocol will give my eggs a chance to mature at a steady pace .

 

Really like to end up with a few "snowbabies" this time.

The new RE we are using has excellent stats for FET. It would be nice to have a backup plan this time.

Because the RE is part of a large IVF network, I will not be cycling within a group.

 

(Some RE's tend to cycle their IVF patients in a group. This way they are able to have the anesthesiologist,embryologist, and lab specialist there for only a week each month rather than full time.etc.)

 

This makes me feel better. I won't be sped up or slowed down when stimming to fit into a schedule. The main IVF center does egg retrievals and transfers 7 days a week. 

 

I'm slowly trying to get my self into IVF mode.  Been exercising since 3 days after my D&C to lose some of the weight left over from my last IVF and short pregnancy but I've been a bit lax about eating right these last few weeks. Went to the produce market to pick up nice leafy green vegetables.

 

I am excited but feeling a bit down at the same time.

 

I wish I had a close group of females to turn to. The women in my life, besides my mother, treat my attempts to become a mother with a bit a skepticism or pessimism.

 

They say the dreadful "Just relax and it will happen. Stop trying, it will happen." Can I get some female cheerleaders on my side?! Lie to me, if you have to! Cheer me on!

 

We've kept my IVF attempts a bit of a secret from my family because we didn't want anyone meddling.

A few weeks ago my older sister was passing through town on her way to an annual family ski trip in Wisconsin.  They just decided to drop in one morning. 

 

The first thing she says is "Did you gain weight? Why do you look sick? why do your eyes look like that?"  I finally broke down and told her about the missed miscarriage. "Why didn't you tell me? Don't keep things like that from me!"

 

 Here's the reason I didn't share any information with her about my recent attempts.

 

Early on when I first attempted getting pregnant via IUI, she wasn't very supportive. "Why do you want to have kids? You have too many nieces and nephews to take care of!"

 

It's not my fault she never taught her daughter, my niece how to keep her legs closed. My niece, her daughter, has 8 children!

 

I stopped sharing about my journey early on. At times she would ask my mother, "is she still messing around with all that medicine? She needs to leave it alone and stop trying to get pregnant!"

 

 

Well stupid me, this time thought she would be sympathetic about my miscarriage and challenges.

After leaving my house the morning of the ski trip, she called me from her cellphone.

 

You know what she said?

" Leave it alone! Stop trying to have a baby."

 

Ain't that a kick in the head. Wow!

 

I gave up trying to find sympathy on the my side of the family.

 

I've got my mother and my nephew on my side and they have always been in my corner.

 

I've now got my Mother-in-law in my corner and my brother-in-law cheering us on. 

 

Then there's my "brother from another mother" and my husbands "best man", he's always been in our corner. He was the one that did the research and who led us to the new RE. In the past, he's been gracious enough to step in and help me with appointments. He always lends a kind ear.

 

Last but not least my dear husband. My cherub! My baby Doll! (he hates when I call him that!) He's my number one cheerleader!

 

I guess that is a good enough support system!

 

 

I guess I'm rambling now!

Have a great weekend!